1 00:00:02,416 --> 00:00:03,658 MY NAME IS NATHAN FIELDER, 2 00:00:03,762 --> 00:00:06,385 AND I GRADUATED FROM ONE OF CANADA'S TOP BUSINESS SCHOOLS 3 00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:08,525 WITH REALLY GOOD GRADES. 4 00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,562 NOW, I'M USING MY KNOWLEDGE 5 00:00:10,665 --> 00:00:12,426 TO HELP STRUGGLING SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS 6 00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:15,670 MAKE IT IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD. 7 00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:29,512 BRIAN WOLFE CLAIMS TO BE THE BEST PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR 8 00:00:29,615 --> 00:00:30,513 IN THE LOS ANGELES AREA. 9 00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:31,790 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 10 00:00:31,893 --> 00:00:33,067 YOU KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY, THEY'RE GONNA KEEP-- 11 00:00:33,171 --> 00:00:34,379 YOU'RE GONNA-- THEY'RE GONNA COME BACK. 12 00:00:34,482 --> 00:00:35,759 I'D LOVE TO TAKE HIM AT HIS WORD, 13 00:00:35,863 --> 00:00:37,416 BUT WHEN I LOOKED HIM UP ON YELP, 14 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,454 HE HAD ZERO REVIEWS, AND THAT'S NOT GOOD. 15 00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:43,388 SO I PAID HIM A VISIT WITH A PLAN TO CHANGE THAT. 16 00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:45,804 WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW THAT YOU LIKED TO SNOOP? 17 00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,875 SNOOP. 18 00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:49,359 NO, IT'S NOT REALLY SNOOPING. I MEAN, IT'S JUST-- 19 00:00:49,463 --> 00:00:50,912 - WELL, IT IS. - IT'S NOT. 20 00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:52,121 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S OBSERVING. 21 00:00:52,224 --> 00:00:53,260 WE CALL IT "OBSERVING." 22 00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:54,537 WELL, HERE'S THE THING. 23 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,505 I LOOKED YOU UP ON YELP, AND YOU HAVE ZERO REVIEWS. 24 00:00:57,609 --> 00:01:00,025 ZERO REVIEWS. WELL, WHAT A NAME, "YELP." 25 00:01:00,129 --> 00:01:01,854 YELP'S A WEB SITE WHERE PEOPLE LOOK-- 26 00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:03,063 YOU LOOK ME UP ON GOOGLE, YOU-- 27 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:04,512 LOOK UP "WOLFE INVESTIGATIONS." 28 00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:05,686 WHAT ABOUT YELP? 29 00:01:05,789 --> 00:01:07,550 OKAY, YOU KEEP ON GOING ON ABOUT YELP. 30 00:01:07,653 --> 00:01:08,999 WHY DO I CARE ABOUT YELP? 31 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,071 SERIOUSLY, NO, LET'S JUST THINK ABOUT THIS FOR ONE SECOND. 32 00:01:11,174 --> 00:01:12,072 OKAY? 33 00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:13,590 BEEN IN BUSINESS FOR 24 YEARS. 34 00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:17,456 WHY DO I CARE IF YELP HAS A REVIEW ABOUT ME? 35 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,838 DO YOU THINK I REALLY CARE ABOUT YELP? 36 00:01:19,941 --> 00:01:21,805 I DON'T GIVE A ABOUT YELP. 37 00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:24,291 THE PLAN: GIVE WOLFE'S INVESTIGATIONS 38 00:01:24,394 --> 00:01:27,397 THEIR FIRST FIVE-STAR YELP REVIEW. 39 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:28,812 YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 40 00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,504 ARE YOU DONE HAVING YOUR TANTRUM? 41 00:01:30,607 --> 00:01:32,264 LOOK, I'M SITTING DOWN. I'M RELAXED. 42 00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:33,265 JUST LISTEN. 43 00:01:33,369 --> 00:01:35,129 I CAN'T JUST GIVE YOU A REVIEW 44 00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:36,130 WITHOUT KNOWING HOW GOOD YOU ARE... 45 00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:37,304 OKAY. 46 00:01:37,407 --> 00:01:38,857 SO I'M GONNA HIRE YOU TO TRACK A PERSON. 47 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:42,550 OKAY. 48 00:01:42,654 --> 00:01:45,553 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU 24 HOURS 49 00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,590 TO TRACK MY WHEREABOUTS, 50 00:01:47,693 --> 00:01:49,868 AND IF YOU DO A GOOD JOB AT THAT, 51 00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:51,145 I'LL GIVE YOU A FIVE-STAR REVIEW. 52 00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:52,940 - EASY. - EASY? 53 00:01:53,043 --> 00:01:54,597 - EASY. - ALL RIGHT. 54 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,288 - OKAY. - READY? 55 00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:57,565 - READY? - SET? 56 00:01:57,669 --> 00:02:01,500 GO. 57 00:02:01,604 --> 00:02:02,846 GIVE ME SOME-- GIVE ME A CHANCE 58 00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,158 TO GET A LITTLE BIT OF A HEAD START. 59 00:02:04,262 --> 00:02:07,057 OKAY. 60 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,783 IT'S TOO MUCH. 61 00:02:08,887 --> 00:02:11,752 A CLASSIC GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE. 62 00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:13,788 IF BRIAN WAS AS GOOD AS HE SAYS HE IS, 63 00:02:13,892 --> 00:02:16,412 HE WAS PROBABLY TWO STEPS AHEAD OF ME ALREADY. 64 00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,586 BUT, LUCKILY, I HAD A PLAN. 65 00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:20,623 IF BRIAN WANTED A GOOD REVIEW FROM ME, 66 00:02:20,726 --> 00:02:22,211 IT WASN'T GONNA BE EASY. 67 00:02:22,314 --> 00:02:24,592 IT'S ONE THING FOR BRIAN TO TRACK ONE OF ME, 68 00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:28,217 BUT LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES WITH NINE OF ME. 69 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,598 PRIOR TO VISITING BRIAN, I HIRED EIGHT ACTORS 70 00:02:30,702 --> 00:02:32,255 THAT LOOKED IDENTICAL TO ME, 71 00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:35,120 AND HAD THEM READY AND WAITING IN A NEARBY HOTEL ROOM 72 00:02:35,224 --> 00:02:36,432 TO BE MY DECOYS. 73 00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:40,056 YOU GUYS HAVE ONE JOB, WHICH IS TO BE ME, RIGHT? 74 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,127 -RIGHT. - SO LOOK HOW I'M STANDING. 75 00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:45,579 LOOK AT MY POSTURE. LISTEN TO HOW I'M TALKING. 76 00:02:45,682 --> 00:02:46,787 YOU GOT THAT? ALL RIGHT. 77 00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,098 GOT IT. 78 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,550 I HAVE A BIT OF A JAW THING, 79 00:02:51,654 --> 00:02:56,521 SO SOMETIMES, I'LL GO LIKE THIS TO MY JAW. 80 00:02:56,624 --> 00:02:58,247 IF BRIAN WAS WATCHING THE HOTEL, 81 00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:01,457 THIS WAS MY FIRST CHANCE TO THROW HIM OFF... 82 00:03:04,045 --> 00:03:05,978 BUT I KNEW WHETHER HE WAS THERE OR NOT, 83 00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:07,808 THE NEXT PLACE HE'D LOOK IS MY HOUSE. 84 00:03:07,911 --> 00:03:09,706 MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT NATHAN'S AT HOME. 85 00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,777 SO THAT'S WHERE WE'RE HEADED RIGHT NOW. 86 00:03:11,881 --> 00:03:14,194 SO I KEPT THE BEST BODY DOUBLE BACK AT THE HOTEL 87 00:03:14,297 --> 00:03:16,782 TO PREPARE HIM TO GO TO MY HOME AS ME. 88 00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,301 SO WHEN YOU'RE THERE, YOU KNOW, 89 00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,890 YOU NEED TO BE LIKE ME. 90 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,202 OKAY. 91 00:03:22,305 --> 00:03:24,376 SO THERE'S A BUNCH OF DISHES IN THE SINK. 92 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,515 SO YOU CAN DO THOSE. 93 00:03:25,619 --> 00:03:28,691 UM, THERE'S ALSO LAUNDRY, 94 00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:29,933 SO YOU COULD DO THAT. 95 00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:34,006 UM, AND THE HOUSE NEEDS TO BE VACUUMED. 96 00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,284 SO YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE? 97 00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:37,665 YEAH, STUFF THAT WOULD LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ME. 98 00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:38,701 OKAY. 99 00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:40,565 I GAVE HIM MY KEYS AND MY ADDRESS, 100 00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,532 BUT NOW I NEEDED HIS. 101 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,052 IF YOU'RE ME, THEN WHO'S YOU, RIGHT? 102 00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:47,399 SO I GOTTA BE YOU WHILE YOU'RE BEING ME. 103 00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:48,952 - WANT MY KEYS? - GIVE ME--YEAH. 104 00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,471 IF YOU THINK I'M BEING UNREASONABLE, 105 00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:53,025 KEEP IN MIND THAT BRIAN IS A PROFESSIONAL P.I. 106 00:03:53,129 --> 00:03:56,339 AND HE'D BE ABLE TO SNIFF OUT ANY INCONSISTENCIES IN MY PLAN. 107 00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:57,582 DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? 108 00:03:57,685 --> 00:03:59,446 - I HAVE A FIANCEE, YEAH. - A FIANCEE? 109 00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:03,104 - MM-HMM. - WHAT'S HER NUMBER? 110 00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:04,554 I NEED TO BE YOU IF YOU'RE ME, 111 00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,176 OR ELSE IT WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 112 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,593 YOU WANT HER NUMBER? REALLY? 113 00:04:08,696 --> 00:04:10,526 UH, YEAH. 114 00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,355 - CAITLIN, IT WAS? - YEAH. 115 00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,978 - WHEN'S THE WEDDING DATE? - NEXT YEAR. 116 00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,325 WE STILL GOT TO LOCK DOWN A DATE. 117 00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:17,602 - YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE YET? - NO. 118 00:04:17,705 --> 00:04:20,363 OKAY, MAYBE I'LL FIGURE THAT OUT WITH HER. 119 00:04:20,467 --> 00:04:22,676 - UM... - YOU DO THAT. 120 00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:23,815 WITH DAN'S WILLINGNESS 121 00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:25,920 TO INCLUDE HIS FIANCEE IN THE OPERATION, 122 00:04:26,024 --> 00:04:28,095 THE SWITCH WAS IN FULL EFFECT. 123 00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:30,339 THEN, WE LEFT AS DISCREETLY AS POSSIBLE 124 00:04:30,442 --> 00:04:33,065 AND GOT INTO EACH OTHER'S CARS. 125 00:04:33,169 --> 00:04:34,619 MY INITIAL HUNCH WAS RIGHT. 126 00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:36,483 BRIAN WAS SECRETLY WATCHING MY HOUSE 127 00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,623 FROM AN SUV ACROSS THE STREET. 128 00:04:38,726 --> 00:04:41,936 HOPEFULLY, MY PLAN TO GET MY DOUBLE INSIDE WOULD WORK. 129 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,731 OH, THIS COULD BE OUR SUBJECT RIGHT NOW. 130 00:04:43,835 --> 00:04:45,043 LOOK AT THAT. IT'S NATHAN. 131 00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:47,597 HE'S PARKED ON THE NORTH SIDE OF THE STREET. 132 00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:49,461 BINGO. 133 00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:53,500 LOOKS LIKE HE'S CARRYING A CASE OF BEER ON HIS LEFT SHOULDER. 134 00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:56,641 AMAZING. 135 00:04:56,744 --> 00:05:00,334 GOING TO A PARTY TONIGHT. 136 00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:01,818 HE'S WALKING TO THE RESIDENCE RIGHT NOW, 137 00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:04,304 AND NOW, HE'S OUT OF VIEW. 138 00:05:04,407 --> 00:05:05,650 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 139 00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:08,238 THE BEER-ON-SHOULDER TRICK ACTUALLY FOOLED BRIAN, 140 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,517 BUT, AT THE TIME, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 141 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:11,897 SO I HEADED TO DAN'S HOUSE. 142 00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:14,003 AND ON MY WAY, I MADE A QUICK STOP. 143 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,799 HI, DO YOU-- DO YOU SELL ANY CONDOMS AT ALL? 144 00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:17,938 YES, SIR. 145 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:19,284 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN 146 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:20,941 ONCE I GOT TO DAN'S HOUSE... 147 00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:22,805 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT'S SMALLER? 148 00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:25,290 BUT I WANTED TO BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING... 149 00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:26,705 - THIS IS THE SMALLEST? - YES. 150 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:27,844 BUT WHEN I ARRIVED, 151 00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:30,537 MY PLAN IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO CRUMBLE. 152 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,539 - HEY. -HI. 153 00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:35,058 HE LEFT ME A MESSAGE THAT SOMEONE WAS COMING OVER, 154 00:05:35,162 --> 00:05:38,338 BUT I WASN'T EXPECTING ALL THIS. 155 00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:41,513 BABE, UM, SO THIS GUY SHOWED UP, 156 00:05:41,617 --> 00:05:43,653 AND HE KEEPS CALLING HIMSELF "DAN," 157 00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:46,691 AND HE BROUGHT ME FLOWERS AND SOME MALBEC. 158 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:48,520 DAN'S FIANCEE WAS CREEPED OUT BY ME, 159 00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:49,866 AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 160 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:52,800 I MEAN, I'D FEEL BETTER IF YOU, YOU KNOW, LEFT. 161 00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:56,286 AND THEN, WHEN DAN GETS BACK, YOU CAN COME BACK. 162 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,668 MY WHOLE PLAN WAS FALLING APART. 163 00:05:58,772 --> 00:06:03,363 I WAS TIRED, AND I HAD NOTHING LEFT TO DO BUT GIVE UP. 164 00:06:05,779 --> 00:06:07,228 - NATHAN. - HEY. 165 00:06:07,332 --> 00:06:08,678 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 166 00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:11,198 ALL RIGHT, I GIVE UP. YOU GOT ME. 167 00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:13,027 YOU'RE PLAYING MIND GAMES. I CAN'T KEEP UP. 168 00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:14,822 YOU'RE AN EASY PREY, KID. 169 00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:16,514 WELL, YOU'RE THE--YOU'RE A PRO, SO WHAT CAN I SAY? 170 00:06:16,617 --> 00:06:17,722 THANK YOU. 171 00:06:17,825 --> 00:06:20,069 DO YOU WANNA GO GRAB A BEER OR SOMETHING? 172 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,173 I KNOW A GREAT PLACE DOWN THE BLOCK. 173 00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:22,589 - LET'S DO IT, JUMP IN. - DO YOU WANNA? 174 00:06:22,692 --> 00:06:24,038 YEAH, LET'S GO. COME ON. 175 00:06:24,142 --> 00:06:27,145 OKAY. 176 00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:42,954 WHO THE ARE YOU? 177 00:06:43,057 --> 00:06:44,231 - WHAT? - YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID. 178 00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:45,508 WHO THE ARE YOU? 179 00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:47,337 - I'M NATHAN. - YOU'RE NOT NATHAN. 180 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,030 I JUST TALKED TO YOU THREE SECONDS AGO. 181 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,169 YOU KNOW WHAT? ENOUGH SHENANIGANS. 182 00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:53,413 GET THE OUT OF MY TRUCK NOW. 183 00:06:53,516 --> 00:06:55,622 "I LEARNED AN IMPORTANT LESSON THAT DAY-- 184 00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:57,037 "THAT NO MATTER WHERE I WAS 185 00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:58,521 OR HOW LONG I STAYED IN ONE PLACE..." 186 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,074 WHAT ARE YOU,? GET OUT! 187 00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:01,731 "I'D ALWAYS BE RUNNING. 188 00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:05,632 "I'D ALWAYS HAVE NO HOME WHILE BRIAN HUNTED ME DOWN. 189 00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:08,048 "BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED OF ALL 190 00:07:08,151 --> 00:07:09,739 "IS THAT BRIAN S. WOLFE 191 00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:13,122 "IS AN AMAZING PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR. 192 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,537 "FOUR STARS. 193 00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:15,642 "HE'S A LITTLE TALKATIVE, 194 00:07:15,745 --> 00:07:17,264 SO THAT'S WHERE HE LOST THE ONE STAR." 195 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,267 "NATHAN F." 196 00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,131 THAT'S YOUR REVIEW. 197 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,650 YOU KNOW WHAT? 198 00:07:23,753 --> 00:07:25,168 THAT'S YOUR OPINION. 199 00:07:25,272 --> 00:07:26,687 TYPICALLY, I GET FIVE STARS. 200 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,517 WELL, TYPICALLY, YOU HAVE NO REVIEWS. 201 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,312 I DON'T GIVE A FLYING ABOUT YELP, OKAY? 202 00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:33,142 I OUGHT TO DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOU, 203 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,523 SEE WHAT TYPE OF FELLOW YOU ARE. 204 00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:35,696 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? 205 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,180 YOU REMIND ME OF THE WIZARD OF LONELINESS 206 00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:40,736 'CAUSE YOU YOUR OWN SELF, YOUR OWN WIZARD. 207 00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:42,669 THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE. 208 00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:45,085 LOOK AT YOU IN A PINK SHIRT AND EVERYTHING ELSE. 209 00:07:45,188 --> 00:07:47,812 OH, YOU'RE KILLING ME. YOU--YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. 210 00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:50,711 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE WIZARD OF LONELINESS. 211 00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:56,199 EARLIER THIS SEASON, I FAKED A DATING SHOW 212 00:07:56,303 --> 00:07:58,443 TO HELP ME OVERCOME MY FEAR OF WOMEN, 213 00:07:58,547 --> 00:07:59,789 AND IT GOT ME THINKING-- 214 00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:02,723 MAYBE I COULD USE THIS STRATEGY TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE. 215 00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:05,726 ONE OF THE GUYS THAT WORKS ON MY SHOW BEHIND THE SCENES, 216 00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:07,866 SOLOMON, IS A QUIET, HARD WORKER, 217 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:09,696 BUT HE REMINDED ME A LOT OF MYSELF. 218 00:08:09,799 --> 00:08:12,008 AND OVER THE COURSE OF THE SEASON, WE BONDED. 219 00:08:12,112 --> 00:08:13,803 WELL, I LIKE THE MOVIE CLICK. 220 00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:16,426 - WITH ADAM SANDLER? - YES, WITH ADAM SANDLER. 221 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,083 THAT'S FUNNY. 222 00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:20,603 WHEN I FOUND OUT HE HAD ISSUES WITH WOMEN AS WELL... 223 00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:21,639 DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? 224 00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:23,848 UH, AT THIS TIME, NO. 225 00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:25,988 I DECIDED TO HELP HIM OUT BY SETTING HIM UP 226 00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:28,266 ON A BLIND DATE AS PART OF MY SHOW. 227 00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:32,339 I WANNA SET YOU UP ON A BLIND DATE. 228 00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:33,616 THAT--THAT'S GOOD. 229 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,101 - YOU DON'T SEEM THAT EXCITED. - NO, I-I AM. 230 00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:37,793 NO, WELL-- SHOW IT ON YOUR FACE, THEN. 231 00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:40,381 - UH, EXCITEMENT? - YEAH. 232 00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:42,142 YES, I'M EXCITED! 233 00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:43,799 OH, GREAT. YOU LOOK EXCITED. 234 00:08:43,902 --> 00:08:46,008 - YES, YES, I AM. - GREAT. 235 00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:48,217 BUT WHEN I PITCHED THE IDEA TO COMEDY CENTRAL, 236 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,806 ALL THEY SAW WAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO CASH IN. 237 00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:54,292 - THERE'S A CATCH. - WHAT'S THE CATCH? 238 00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:59,090 ONE OF THE SPONSORS OF THE SHOW IS QUIZNOS. 239 00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:00,988 UM, THIS ISN'T A JOKE, 240 00:09:01,092 --> 00:09:03,991 BUT THEY ARE MAKING US DO THIS 241 00:09:04,095 --> 00:09:06,235 AT ONE OF THEIR RESTAURANTS. 242 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,374 OKAY. 243 00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:10,791 SO WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO DO YOUR DATE 244 00:09:10,895 --> 00:09:12,137 AT A QUIZNOS? 245 00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:13,829 IT'S OKAY. 246 00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:15,278 THE QUIZNOS IS GOOD. 247 00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:16,625 SOLOMON TOOK THE NEWS WELL, 248 00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:17,798 AND EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T THRILLED 249 00:09:17,902 --> 00:09:19,731 WITH HAVING PRODUCT PLACEMENT IN MY SHOW, 250 00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:21,940 WE'LL SEE SOLOMON'S DATE IN A BIT. 251 00:09:22,044 --> 00:09:25,288 BUT FIRST, WHEN I GET INTO A TAXICAB, 252 00:09:25,392 --> 00:09:27,463 ALL I HOPE FOR IS A NICE, QUIET RIDE... 253 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,189 LEXINGTON AND WILSHIRE, PLEASE. 254 00:09:29,292 --> 00:09:33,227 BUT THERE REALLY IS NO EASY WAY TO ASK FOR THAT. 255 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:37,128 UH, NATHAN. 256 00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:38,578 UM, SORRY, 257 00:09:38,681 --> 00:09:40,821 I DON'T REALLY WANNA HAVE A CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW. 258 00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,375 IT'S ALWAYS BEEN AN AWKWARD SITUATION FOR ME. 259 00:09:43,479 --> 00:09:45,826 THAT'S WHY I DEVISED A SOLUTION AND BROUGHT IT 260 00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:49,278 TO STRUGGLING LOS ANGELES TAXI COMPANY INDEPENDENT CAB, 261 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,591 WHERE I MET WITH PRESIDENT NETTABI AHMED. 262 00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:54,490 ALL I'M SUGGESTING IS YOU MAKE IT EASY 263 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,078 FOR THE CUSTOMER TO DECIDE 264 00:09:56,181 --> 00:09:57,769 IF HE WANTS A CONVERSATION OR NOT 265 00:09:57,873 --> 00:09:59,737 AND EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT. 266 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,531 BUT YOU CANNOT ASK SOMEBODY, 267 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,706 "DO YOU HAVE--DO YOU WANNA HAVE A CONVERSATION OR NOT?" 268 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:05,708 UNTIL NOW. THE PLAN-- 269 00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:08,228 A TOUCH SCREEN SYSTEM THAT WILL ALLOW THE CUSTOMER 270 00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:10,230 TO DISCREETLY COMMUNICATE TO THE DRIVER 271 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,301 WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS A CONVERSATION. 272 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,165 AND IF HE DOES, HE'LL ACTUALLY BE ABLE 273 00:10:14,268 --> 00:10:16,685 TO SELECT THE TOPIC HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT. 274 00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:18,134 THE IDEA, I ACCEPT IT RIGHT NOW, 275 00:10:18,238 --> 00:10:19,653 BUT I NEED TO TEST IT, 276 00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:22,380 NOT--NOT ONLY FOR YOUR DOCUMENTARY 277 00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:25,210 OR FOR YOUR MOVIE, BUT FOR THE BUSINESS ITSELF. 278 00:10:25,314 --> 00:10:26,522 BEFORE COMMITTING TO ANYTHING, 279 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,593 NETTABI WANTED ME TO DO A TRIAL RUN 280 00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:30,699 WITH ONE OF HIS DRIVERS--REUBEN. 281 00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:33,046 ALONG WITH REUBEN'S HOME COUNTRY OF ARMENIA, 282 00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:35,945 I PICKED THREE MORE MAINSTREAM CONVERSATION TOPICS 283 00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:37,602 FOR CUSTOMERS TO CHOOSE FROM 284 00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:39,086 AND TOOK OUT SOME BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY 285 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,916 SO THAT REUBEN COULD STUDY UP ON THEM. 286 00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:42,227 YOU PROMISE YOU'LL READ THESE? 287 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,401 - I PROMISE, YEAH. - OKAY. 288 00:10:43,504 --> 00:10:44,851 - 'CAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. - OKAY. 289 00:10:44,954 --> 00:10:46,128 YOU KNOW, I WANNA LOOK GOOD FOR YOUR BOSS. 290 00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:47,267 OKAY. 291 00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,372 AFTER GIVING REUBEN A WEEK TO STUDY, 292 00:10:49,476 --> 00:10:51,927 WE HAD OUR TOUCH SCREEN SYSTEM INSTALLED IN HIS CAB, 293 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:53,618 AND IT WAS TIME TO GO PICK UP SOME CUSTOMERS. 294 00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:55,033 SANTA MONICA AND WILTON, PLEASE. 295 00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,794 NO PROBLEM. 296 00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:58,865 SO WE'RE DOING THIS THING WHERE YOU CAN SELECT 297 00:10:58,968 --> 00:11:01,695 YOUR CONVERSATION PREFERENCES FOR THE RIDE. 298 00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:04,560 SEE, YES OR NO. 299 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,562 TURNS OUT A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE LIKE ME. 300 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,598 NO ONE WANTED TO TALK TO THE DRIVER. 301 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,808 LOVE THAT SILENCE. 302 00:11:10,911 --> 00:11:12,913 JUST NICE AND QUIET. 303 00:11:13,017 --> 00:11:13,914 ARE YOU ENJOYING THE SILENCE? 304 00:11:14,018 --> 00:11:15,260 KIND OF. 305 00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:17,884 BUT IN ORDER TO REALLY SELL MY IDEA TO NETTABI, 306 00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,920 I NEEDED TO SHOW THE CONVERSATION FEATURE 307 00:11:20,024 --> 00:11:21,646 WORKING WITH A CUSTOMER. 308 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,372 OKAY. 309 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,374 UM, YOU KNOW, I JUST WONDER WHAT CALIFORNIA-- 310 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:26,927 WHAT WAS NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA, 311 00:11:27,031 --> 00:11:28,964 OR, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DOLPHINS, OR-- 312 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:32,381 - WHICH WHALES ARE NATIVE? - YEAH, THAT--THAT'D BE RIGHT. 313 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,072 WHICH WHALES ARE NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA? 314 00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:37,662 - CALIFORNIA. - YEAH. 315 00:11:37,766 --> 00:11:39,837 I CANNOT ASK. I'M SORRY. 316 00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:43,633 BUT THAT WAS COVERED IN THE-- IN THE BOOKS. 317 00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:46,602 DID YOU READ-- DID YOU READ THE BOOKS? 318 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,364 - NO. - YOU DIDN'T READ THEM? 319 00:11:50,468 --> 00:11:51,572 OKAY. 320 00:11:51,676 --> 00:11:53,920 I WAS STUNNED THAT REUBEN HADN'T PREPARED. 321 00:11:54,023 --> 00:11:55,576 AND IF HE COULDN'T TALK ABOUT WHALES, 322 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,647 NETTABI WOULD NEVER GO FOR MY IDEA. 323 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,235 SO I ASKED HIM TO PULL OVER 324 00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:02,204 AND HAD THE CUSTOMER WAIT OUTSIDE SO WE COULD TALK. 325 00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:06,242 WHAT'S GOING ON? 326 00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:09,314 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHALES? 327 00:12:12,835 --> 00:12:14,147 REUBEN KNEW NOTHING, 328 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,908 AND IN A LAST-DITCH EFFORT, I PULLED UP SOME WHALE FACTS 329 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:18,772 ON MY PHONE FOR HIM TO MEMORIZE. 330 00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:20,498 A SPERM WHALE CAN HOLD ITS BREATH 331 00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:22,051 FOR AT LEAST ONE HOUR. 332 00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,812 - ONE HOUR, IT CAN HOLD-- - HOLD ITS BREATH, SPERM WHALE. 333 00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:24,882 - OKAY. - SPERM WHALE. 334 00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,229 I GAVE REUBEN ABOUT 15 WHALE FACTS, 335 00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:29,610 AND THEN, IT WAS TIME TO BRING THE CUSTOMER BACK IN. 336 00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:30,853 - OKAY, GOT IT? - YEAH. 337 00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:32,890 OKAY, READY? I'M GONNA BRING HER BACK IN. 338 00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:37,618 - YEAH. - OKAY, DON'T--DON'T MESS IT UP. 339 00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:40,138 -OKAY. - IT ALL CAME DOWN TO THIS. 340 00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:42,831 THE FATE OF MY CONCEPT WAS IN REUBEN'S HANDS. 341 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,729 SO ARE YOU-- YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT WHALES? 342 00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:45,834 - YES. - OKAY. 343 00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,008 SO, UM... 344 00:12:48,112 --> 00:12:51,184 IT'S A-- VERY INTERESTING ANIMALS. 345 00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:54,049 UH, FOR EXAMPLE... 346 00:12:54,152 --> 00:12:58,053 IT CAN HOLD THE BREATH UNDERWATER FOR ONE HOUR. 347 00:12:58,156 --> 00:12:59,640 WHAT ELSE? 348 00:12:59,744 --> 00:13:03,506 ALSO, THEY CAN LIVE 200 YEARS. 349 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:04,542 KEEP GOING. 350 00:13:04,645 --> 00:13:06,786 ALL THE WHALES SIT AROUND FAMILY. 351 00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:07,856 WOW. 352 00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:09,685 REUBEN CAME THROUGH IN A BIG WAY, 353 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,515 AND IN NO TIME, HE WAS EVEN MAKING UP HIS OWN FACTS. 354 00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:16,623 HAVE YOU EVER FOUGHT A SHARK? 355 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,453 - YEAH. - YOU HAVE? 356 00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:21,870 YEAH, IT WAS A GREAT-- GREAT WHITE. 357 00:13:21,973 --> 00:13:22,871 WOW. 358 00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:24,044 WHOA, YOU FOUGHT A GREAT WHITE? 359 00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:25,356 WHAT DID YOU DO? 360 00:13:25,459 --> 00:13:28,083 HIS MOUTH LIKE THIS. 361 00:13:28,186 --> 00:13:31,051 IF YOU GO THIS WAY, HE CANNOT TOUCH YOU... 362 00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:32,294 OKAY. 363 00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,192 AND I TRIED, AND I BEAT IT. 364 00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:36,298 A GREAT WHITE SHARK CAME TO BITE YOU, AND YOU KICKED IT? 365 00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:38,645 YEAH. I KICKED IT. 366 00:13:38,748 --> 00:13:41,613 - AND DID YOU KILL HIM? - NO. 367 00:13:41,717 --> 00:13:44,375 - YEAH, I KILL HIM. - OH, WOW. 368 00:13:44,478 --> 00:13:45,617 PRETTY GOOD, HUH? 369 00:13:45,721 --> 00:13:47,205 YEAH, IT'S-- IT'S REALLY INTERESTING. 370 00:13:47,309 --> 00:13:48,379 DO YOU LIKE THIS SYSTEM? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN IT BEFORE? 371 00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:49,552 NO. 372 00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:51,106 WOULD YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT? 373 00:13:51,209 --> 00:13:52,452 UH, SURE. 374 00:13:52,555 --> 00:13:55,835 REUBEN FAR SURPASSED ANY EXPECTATIONS I HAD FOR HIM, 375 00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:58,251 AND I COULDN'T WAIT TO SHOW NETTABI THE RESULTS. 376 00:13:58,354 --> 00:13:59,493 'CAUSE THIS WAY, HE CANNOT TOUCH YOU... 377 00:13:59,597 --> 00:14:01,599 - WOW. - AND I TRIED, AND I BEAT HIM. 378 00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:02,772 THAT'S GOOD. 379 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,533 - YOU LIKE IT? - THE CUSTOMER LOOKS HAPPY. 380 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,293 AND THE DRIVER WAS COMFORTABLE. 381 00:14:06,397 --> 00:14:07,743 SO I LIKE IT. 382 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,745 I'M SO HAPPY I COULD HELP YOU. 383 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,023 UM, DO YOU MIND IF I LEAVE YOU MY BUSINESS CARD? 384 00:14:12,127 --> 00:14:16,752 ABSOLUTELY. 385 00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:21,826 BASICALLY, TO CARE FOR IT, 386 00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:24,242 YOU JUST HAVE TO FEED IT KIND OF WHEAT-- 387 00:14:24,346 --> 00:14:26,244 EVERY DAY, I HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR CARD. 388 00:14:26,348 --> 00:14:28,522 - YOU CARE FOR IT, YEAH. - OH, THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA. 389 00:14:28,626 --> 00:14:30,386 YEAH, BECAUSE YOU NEVER FORGET WHO GAVE IT TO YOU. 390 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,872 YES, YOU ARE FULL-- FULL OF GOOD IDEAS. 391 00:14:32,975 --> 00:14:34,528 - OH, GREAT. - HAVE A GOOD DAY. 392 00:14:34,632 --> 00:14:35,875 - YOU TOO. - GOOD TO MEET YOU. 393 00:14:35,978 --> 00:14:38,774 BYE, BYE. 394 00:14:42,364 --> 00:14:43,261 EARLIER, I SET UP ONE OF MY EMPLOYEES 395 00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,953 ON A BLIND DATE, AND THE GIRL 396 00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,368 I PICKED FOR HIM WAS SOMEONE 397 00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:48,266 THAT I MET ON MY FAKE DATING SHOW--RACHEL. 398 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:51,062 THERE'S NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME. 399 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,788 AS PART OF THE AGREEMENT WITH QUIZNOS, 400 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,790 SOLOMON WAS GONNA HAVE TO SAY SOME BRANDING CUES 401 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,550 FROM THE COMPANY DURING HIS DATE. 402 00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:57,897 SO I GAVE HIM A HIDDEN EARPIECE 403 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,622 AND STATIONED MYSELF IN THE BACK ROOM 404 00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,762 WITH A QUIZNOS MARKETING REP SO I COULD TELL HIM 405 00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:04,317 WHAT TO SAY DURING HIS DATE. 406 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,112 I COULD TELL SOLOMON WAS NERVOUS, 407 00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:08,873 BUT HE LOOKED FANTASTIC IN MY GRANDPA'S SUIT. 408 00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:11,531 I JUST HOPED THAT HE COULD HIT IT OFF WITH RACHEL. 409 00:15:11,634 --> 00:15:13,774 HI, MY NAME IS SOLOMON. 410 00:15:13,878 --> 00:15:16,846 HI. 411 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,331 I'M RACHEL. 412 00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:19,953 YOU HAVE NICE EYES. 413 00:15:20,057 --> 00:15:21,644 OH, THANK YOU. 414 00:15:21,748 --> 00:15:24,716 - SO DO YOU. - THANK YOU. 415 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,063 YOU COULD ASK HER IF-- 416 00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:27,996 "WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE QUIZNOS SUB?" 417 00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:30,791 ALL RIGHT, IS THAT KIND OF WEIRD EARLY ON IN THE DATE? 418 00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,759 I TRIED TO HOLD OFF THE QUIZNOS REP AS LONG 419 00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:35,382 AS I COULD SO SOLOMON AND RACHEL COULD REALLY CONNECT... 420 00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:37,143 HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE CLICK? 421 00:15:37,246 --> 00:15:38,661 NO. 422 00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:42,907 OH, IT'S ABOUT, UM, A GUY THAT GETS THIS REMOTE CONTROL, 423 00:15:43,011 --> 00:15:44,426 AND HE CONTROL LIFE. 424 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:47,049 - OH, WOW, AWESOME. - YEAH. 425 00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:48,809 BUT, EVENTUALLY, SHE WAS JUST TOO PERSISTENT. 426 00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:51,329 DID YOU KNOW THE BAJA CHICKEN HAS... 427 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:55,644 - CHEF-INSPIRED... - CHEF-INSPIRED SAUCES? 428 00:15:55,747 --> 00:16:00,028 DID YOU KNOW THE BAJA CHICKEN HAS CHEF-INSPIRED SAUCES? 429 00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:02,789 OH, REALLY? COOL. 430 00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:06,551 HAVE HIM SAY, "MM, TOASTY." 431 00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:08,036 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 432 00:16:08,139 --> 00:16:09,485 SO, UM... 433 00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:12,557 WILL YOU SAY, "MM, TOASTY" AFTER YOU BITE IT? 434 00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,042 MM. 435 00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:16,009 TOASTY. 436 00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:19,254 NOW, WE COULD TALK ABOUT THE ARTISAN BREADS, 437 00:16:19,357 --> 00:16:20,703 THE FRESHLY SLICED MEATS AND CHEESES-- 438 00:16:20,807 --> 00:16:23,085 OKAY, I'M-- I LOVE QUIZNOS, 439 00:16:23,189 --> 00:16:25,122 AND I'M HAPPY TO DO THIS, 440 00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:28,918 BUT CAN WE LET THEM DO THEIR THING FOR A BIT, 441 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,472 AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER? 442 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,818 OKAY. 443 00:16:31,921 --> 00:16:33,509 BE GENUINE. BE YOURSELF. 444 00:16:33,613 --> 00:16:35,615 SPEAK FROM THE HEART. 445 00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,583 DO YOU-- DO YOU KNOW ANY POEMS? 446 00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:40,482 NO. 447 00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:43,278 - DO YOU? - YES, I DO. 448 00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:45,418 "ROSES ARE RED, 449 00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:48,317 "VIOLETS ARE BLUE. 450 00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:51,389 NO ONE IS PRETTIER THAN YOU." 451 00:16:51,493 --> 00:16:54,668 AW. THANKS. 452 00:16:54,772 --> 00:16:58,258 - YOU'RE WELCOME. - THAT'S GOOD. 453 00:16:58,362 --> 00:17:00,433 YEAH, IF WE CAN THROW IN THE TAG LINE AGAIN. 454 00:17:00,536 --> 00:17:02,952 ALL RIGHT, WRAP IT UP, SOLOMON. 455 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,610 SO, UH, IT SEEMS, 456 00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:10,926 UH, THAT WE'RE DONE WITH... 457 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:15,931 WITH THE TASTY QUIZNOS... 458 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,829 SANDWICH. 459 00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:19,728 GREAT. 460 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:20,832 YOU'RE REAL PRETTY 461 00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:24,457 AND I WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 462 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,666 EVEN WITH THE AWKWARDNESS OF OUR PRODUCT PLACEMENT, 463 00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:29,600 I WAS SO HAPPY THINGS WORKED OUT FOR SOLOMON. 464 00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:32,672 BUT THERE WAS STILL ONE THING I HAD TO LOOK INTO. 465 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,400 EARLIER TONIGHT, YOU SAW ME HELP A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR. 466 00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:38,954 BUT WHAT I DIDN'T SHOW YOU IS THAT AFTER WE WERE DONE, 467 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,576 I ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO HANG OUT, 468 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,750 AND HE REBUFFED ME. 469 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,855 WOULD YOU WANNA HANG OUT ON SATURDAY NIGHT? 470 00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:45,098 NO, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 471 00:17:45,202 --> 00:17:46,720 - WHY? - I HAVE PLANS. 472 00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:47,825 - YOU HAVE PLANS? - I DO. 473 00:17:47,928 --> 00:17:49,137 - ON SATURDAY? - I DO. 474 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,380 WHAT ARE THE PLANS? 475 00:17:51,484 --> 00:17:53,555 TAKING MY GIRL OUT TO DINNER. 476 00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,694 YOU'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER WITH YOUR GIRL? 477 00:17:54,797 --> 00:17:55,695 YES. 478 00:17:55,798 --> 00:17:56,903 ALL RIGHT. 479 00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:58,560 BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN BRIAN'S TONE 480 00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:00,113 THAT JUST DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT TO ME, 481 00:18:00,217 --> 00:18:03,151 SO I HIRED A SECOND PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO SPY ON BRIAN 482 00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,187 TO SEE IF HE REALLY WENT OUT WITH HIS GIRL. 483 00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:07,224 AND IF IT'S OPEN, HE'S DEFINITELY HOME. 484 00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:08,294 YEAH, EXACTLY. 485 00:18:08,397 --> 00:18:10,675 I NEVER SAW HIM LEAVE AT ALL, PERIOD. 486 00:18:10,779 --> 00:18:12,608 'CAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WAS GOING OUT WITH HIS GIRL THAT NIGHT. 487 00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:15,128 OH, INTERESTING. 488 00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:16,440 YOU DON'T LOOK TOO HAPPY. 489 00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:19,270 NO, I'M JUST-- I'M SURPRISED HE LIED TO ME. 490 00:18:19,374 --> 00:18:21,376 WHAT--DO YOU THINK THE GUY, LIKE--HE DIDN'T LIKE ME, OR... 491 00:18:21,479 --> 00:18:22,722 I DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW? 492 00:18:22,825 --> 00:18:24,827 I MEAN, SOMET--I MEAN, IF I DON'T LIKE SOMEBODY 493 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,174 AND THEY'D ASK ME THAT, I'D PROBABLY SAY, 494 00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:27,347 "I'D LOVE TO GO OUT WITH YOU. 495 00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:28,624 I'M JUST REALLY BUSY." 496 00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:29,763 RIGHT, SO HE WAS JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF ME. 497 00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:30,971 I THINK HE WAS TRYING TO GET RID OF YOU. 498 00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:32,111 THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE. 499 00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:34,147 - NO--SORRY ABOUT THAT, BUT-- - NO, NO, NO. 500 00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:36,253 - IT'S JUST MY OPINION. - YEAH, YOU DID A GREAT JOB. 501 00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:37,323 MY PLEASURE. 502 00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:40,947 UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND? 503 00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,086 THIS WEEKEND? 504 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:45,331 UH, PROBABLY GOING TO GO TO SAN FRANCISCO. 505 00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:46,608 WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT ANOTHER TIME. 506 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,095 NO, I'M PROBABLY GOING TO GO TO SAN FRANCISCO, SEE MY FAMILY. 507 00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,165 - MM. - YEAH. 508 00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:56,135 OKAY. 509 00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:59,068 ALL RIGHT, THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING IN AND HELPING. 510 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,208 YOU GOT IT. TAKE CARE. NICE TO MEET YOU. 511 00:19:00,311 --> 00:19:03,280 ALL RIGHT. 512 00:19:07,318 --> 00:19:10,114 DO YOU WANNA HANG OUT SOMETIME--A TIME OUTSIDE? 513 00:19:10,218 --> 00:19:11,978 I DON'T KNOW. 514 00:19:12,081 --> 00:19:13,462 - IT'S FINE. - MM... 515 00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:17,294 - WE DON'T HAVE TO. THAT'S FINE. - YEAH, OKAY. 516 00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:19,123 YOU'RE--ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW? 517 00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,124 YES. 518 00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:23,196 OKAY. SO SORRY, NEVERMIND. 519 00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:26,820 NICE GUYS LIKE US ARE LEFT BEHIND. 520 00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:29,892 MM, HOW DO YOU SAY? "NICE GUYS FINISH LAST." 521 00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:32,757 YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. 522 00:19:32,861 --> 00:19:34,621 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE WIZARD OF LONELINESS. 523 00:19:34,725 --> 00:19:37,210 THAT'S YOU. 524 00:19:37,314 --> 00:19:39,592 I NEED YOU TO PRETEND TO BE MY FRIEND. 525 00:19:39,695 --> 00:19:42,767 I CAN PAY YOU. 526 00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:45,391 SO ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO HIM? 527 00:19:45,494 --> 00:19:46,426 I GUESS NO. 528 00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:49,498 HE WASN'T REALLY WHAT I EXPECTED. 529 00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:52,812 WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT ANOTHER TIME. 530 00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:02,960 GOOD AFTERNOON. GLOBAL INVESTIGATIONS. 531 00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:05,445 HI, YOU'RE A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR? 532 00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:07,171 UH, YES. HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL? 533 00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:11,002 UM, YEAH, I JUST WANT TO FIND OUT 534 00:20:11,106 --> 00:20:15,317 IF A PAUL KATZ IS GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO THIS WEEKEND. 535 00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,500 AB-SO-LUTELY. 536 00:20:29,745 --> 00:20:32,023 HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE QUIZNOS? 537 00:20:32,127 --> 00:20:35,130 I LOVE QUIZNOS. 538 00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:40,584 BE HONEST. DO YOU REALLY LOVE QUIZNOS? 539 00:20:40,687 --> 00:20:43,380 I LOVE QUIZNOS.